The Tall Man

'I now understand that the Tall Man is even more enterprising than I could ever have imagined, as I have come to believe he wants nothing less than world domination and the annihilation of our species." - Don Coscarelli, creator of The Tall Man.

The Tall Man is the role for which actor Angus Scrimm was best known. Definite villain of the Phantasm series of films, while the Tall Man may not have achieved the worldwide fame that, say, Pinhead from Hellraiser has, the guy is still pretty popular amongst connoisseurs of horror.

The Tall Man, as featured in Phantasm I to III and Phantasm: Oblivion, is a complex character whose method of operation has increased in complexity throughout the films. Explanations for his behaviour, including his origin and purpose, has been covered, notably in Phantasm IV, though never truly explained. As quoted above, Don Coscarelli, writer and director of the Phantasm films, has evolved his own ideas of who (or what) the Tall Man is, eventually reaching the conclusion that he is, quite simply, the nemesis of humanity.

In Phantasm (1979), the Tall Man is introduced. Of reasonably impressive height, as you might expect, and with grey hair, Angus Scrimm goes to great lengths to screw up one side of his face, producing a surprisingly effective air of menace and dread. Mike, a young boy, recently bereaved, sees the Tall Man display inhuman strength as he removes a coffin from a grave and places it into the back of a hearse. Later in the film, the Tall Man's finger, though severed from his body, is clearly still alive, allowing Mike to convince his brother Jody and friend Reggie of the Tall Man's existence.

The Tall Man, upon further investigation, is not alone. It appears that he is stealing the bodies to create an army of evil dwarves, clad in strange blankets and with unpleasantly yellow blood. To add to this, the Tall Man is armed with shining steel spheres, which fly through the air and hook themselves into their victims. In this film, the spheres then swiftly drill into the individual's skull, pumping blood out behind them. Despite a severe crushing at the end of film one, the Tall Man returns for film two and is killed by Mike, Jody and Reggie, who inject him with his own supply of the mysterious fluids used to re-animate the corpses.

Despite even this, the Tall Man returns again, developing his trademark booming cry of 'Boy!', drawn out menacingly. By the third film, too, we understand a little more about the Tall Man's purposes. His army of spheres has increased in complexity, sporting a range of deadly gadgets to augment the Tall Man's array of dwarf-minions.

As the cycle of films progresses further, it becomes apparent to us that there is more than one Tall Man, as though his existence in our universe is merely as a representative of an entire race. Indeed, dimensional portals appear in the film, two silver poles, through which the characters are occasionally and, thankfully, briefly drawn. In the Tall Man's home dimension, barrels are stacked against a desolate, windswept desert. It is clear that the Tall Man's purpose, at this point, is to procure corpses, convert them into the dwarf people and return them to his home dimension. If, for some reason, the Tall Man dies, he is replaced immediately by another Tall Man, who appears through the same portal.

All is well by now. We have reached film three, and while we may not fully understand the Tall Man, we are happy with the explanation as given. Film four, unfortunately, titled Phantasm: Oblivion simply so that the IV can be capitalised in the sub-title, leads us a merry dance which simply confuses the issue. Mike's brother, killed long ago in the second film, appears once more, trapped inside a silver sphere. Jody somehow passes back in time, witnessing the true origins of the Tall Man: a meek, mild inventor involved in early experiments generating electricity, who somehow invents the dimensional gateway to the other dimension. It does not, it must be said, make sense, and even ardent fans of the film struggle to explain how the fourth film's mythology meshes with that of the first three.

Despite this, the Tall Man stands as a classic example of popular horror villain. Mysterious, unpleasant and quite deadly, we are somehow drawn to this depiction. Angus Scrimm may have gone on to other roles (now, alas those fabled roles in the sky…), but his continued appearances at conventions (concerning which Angus was renowned for his good humour and patience with fans, once they got over the eerie experience of meeting the Tall Man face-to-face) and other sci-fi or horror gatherings clearly showed that the Tall Man was his crowning achievement.

'I am continually amazed that the fans have so much affection for such a dark character whose trade is essentially death. Audiences enjoy laughing with the Tall Man as he does his appalling deeds." - Angus Scrimm, The Tall Man.

Sources: imdb, www.phantasm.com, Amazon, the films.

Angus Scrimm

Angus Scrimm is primarily remembered for his role as the Tall Man in Don Coscarelli's science fiction/horror film Phantasm and its sequels. Which is, in a sense, ironic - Scrimm himself concurs that such a role was a complete departure from his usual acting work.

Growing up in Kansas City, Scrimm confesses to never imagining a career as the star of a series of horror movies. Moving to California as a teenager, he studied drama at USC, leading to a steady career in theatre, televisionand some film work. Without the opportunity to work on Phantasm, Scrimm is convinced he would still be playing comedy roles.

His 1979 appearance in Phantasm produced an unforgettable character, aided by Scrimm's ability to look almost effortlessly sinister. A screwed up right eye and bizarre crop of greying hair combine with a perfectly straightforward suit and tie to produce the enduring image of the Tall Man. And from this basis Scrimm went on to star in numerous other such roles: Dr. Lyme in Deadfall (working alongside Nicolas Cage and Charlie Sheen) or the unpleasant Seer from Mindwarp, in which he starred with Bruce Campbell.

Added to Fangoria Magazine's Horror Hall Of Fame in 1994, Scrimm stands alongside Stephen King, Anthony Hopkins and Vincent Price. With regard to the Tall Man, Scrimm admits to being amazed at the affection with which he is held, though a little reflection on the matter will show that such affection on the part of fans is nothing new; Pinhead, from Clive Barker's Hellraiser is afforded the same admiration, and Robert Englund's Freddy Kruegeris of a similar ilk. "I am continually amazed that the fans have so much affection for such a dark character whose trade is essentially death. Audiences enjoy laughing with the Tall Man as he does his appalling deeds.'

It would be a mistake to assume that Scrimm's entire career is based around the Tall Man, however. As a journalist he has written for TV Guide, Cinema Magazine and the Los Angeles Herald Examiner, as well as maintaining an intriguing career producing liner notes for a huge range of albums. There is no doubt, however, that Phantasm is his enduring legacy: 'Tell them I haven't hung up the old balls yet!'

Donald Sutherland

The Basics:

Donald Sutherland, Canadian by birth, was born to Frederick and Dorothy Sutherland in 1934, in Saint John, New Brunswick. Following an education at the University Of Toronto, Sutherland studied at the London Academy Of Music And Dramatic Arts in the late 1950s and subsequently played a number of small roles in horror films and thrillers. As his career progressed, Sutherland's roles became more complex, with the result that by 2000 Donald Sutherland had become a most respected actor, with many major films to his name, and a career that has stood the test of time. Nowadays, as well as major film roles, Sutherland hosts television shows and has even appeared in music videos.

The Beginnings:

Of course, returning to the very beginnings of Sutherland's career, these initial roles are in no way to be ignored. Look where they got him! With a penchant for the sinister, lanky type, Sutherland's physical appearance lent a certain disturbing quality to his roles. Tall, gawky and with, it has to be said, rather googly eyeballs, Sutherland was perfect for initial roles such as Bob Carroll in the luridly-titled Dr Terror's House Of Horrors, or Joseph in the intriguingly-named Die! Die! My Darling!. Following a modest career boost in The Dirty Dozen, Sutherland's real big break came with the 1970 film M*A*S*H, in which Sutherland took the role of surgeon Hawkeye Pierceand, in the process, discovered that not all films are cheap horror flicks that give away the entire plot in the title.

Stardom:

Following this, Donald Sutherland, it has to be said, attained stardom. His mainstream successes were mixed with more peculiar film ventures, often verging on the politically volatile. Co-starring with Jane Fonda in the popular thriller Klute (1971) seemed like a good career move, but going on to write, produce, direct and star in an anti-Vietnam war film (FTA, 1972) may, at the time, have seemed less sensible. Then again, the graphic sex of Don't Look Now may well have drowned out any controversy from his previous ventures. Even if such things weren't shocking enough for the late 70s, the brutish, ruthless characters depicted by Sutherland in The Day Of The Locust and 1900 were guaranteed to attract peoples attention. I'm reliably informed, though I've yet to see it for myself, that his appearance as a pot smoking professor in Animal House is well worth witnessing.

The Eighties And Onwards:

It was in the seventies that Sutherland really came into his own, though he remained a respected and popular actor right through to his more recent films. Playing the father in 1980's Ordinary People, and a Nazi spy in Eye Of The Needle continued Sutherland's propensity for creepy roles, and though his eye seems drawn more to smaller roles, evinced in such films as Lock Up and Backdraft, Sutherland is remembered fondly for his mainstream, well-known roles just as much as his more obscure film outings: playing Wilhelm Reich in Kate Bush's video for her song Cloudbusting being one such fan-delighting appearance. His rolled-back, scary-eyed howl at the end of Invasion Of The Body Snatchers, too, provides more than enough material for a film buff to adore Donald Sutherland forever.

More Than You Need To Know: A Summary

Height: 6'4"
Date of Birth: July 6, 1934
Birth Place: St. John, New Brunswick, Canada
Education: University of Toronto, where he majored in Engineering and Drama, followed by the London Academy of Music and Dramatic Art.
Wife: Currently Francine Racette (actress; whom he met in 1972). Originally, Sutherland was married to Lois Hardwick, also an actress, whom he married in 1959 and divorced in 1966. She was followed by Shirley Douglas, another Canadian actress, whom he met while filming Castle of the Living Dead in 1964. They were married in 1966 and subsequently divorced in 1971.
Other Relationships: Jane Fonda (with whom he had three-year relationship)
Father: Frederick Sutherland, a salesman
Mother: Dorothy Sutherland, originally Dorothy McNichol
Children: Angus Redford Sutherland (born in 1979), Rossif Sutherland (born in 1978), Roeg Sutherland (born in 1974), Kiefer Sutherland (born on December 21, 1966 to Shirley Douglas), Rachel Sutherland (born on December 21, 1966 to Shirley Douglas; twin sister of Kiefer)

Selected films you may have heard of:

Salem's Lot (2004) (TV) (filming ) - Richard Straker
The Italian Job (2003) - John Bridger
Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within (2001) (voice) - Dr. Sid
Space Cowboys (2000) - Jerry O'Neill
Virus (1999) - Capt. Robert Everton
The Puppet Masters (1994) - Andrew Nivens
Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1992) - Merrick Jamison-Smythe
JFK (1991) - X (unknown general in black)
Backdraft (1991) - Ronald Bartel
Kate Bush: The Whole Story (1986) (V) - Father in the music video Cloudbusting
Max Dugan Returns (1983) - Brian Costello
Animal House (1978) - Prof. Dave Jennings
The Eagle Has Landed (1976) - Liam Devlin
The Day of the Locust (1975) - Homer Simpson
Alien Thunder (1974) - Dan Candy
Don't Look Now (1973) - John Baxter
Steelyard Blues (1973) - Jesse Veldini
Klute (1971) - John Klute
Kelly's Heroes (1970) - Sgt. Oddball, Tank Commander
M*A*S*H (1970) - Capt. Benjamin Franklin 'Hawkeye' Pierce

Selected films you probably haven't heard of:

Da wan (2001) - Tyler
Threads of Hope (2000) (voice) - Narrator
The Hunley (1999) (TV) - General Pierre Beauregard
Oldest Living Confederate Widow Tells All (1994) (TV) - Capt. William Marsden
The Poky Little Puppy's First Christmas (1992) - Narrator
Lock Up (1989) - Warden Drumgoole
Gas (1981) - Nick the Noz
The Kentucky Fried Movie (1977) - The Clumsy Waiter
Oedipus the King (1967) - Chorus Leader
Billion Dollar Brain (1967) - Scientist at computer
Die! Die! My Darling! (1965) - Joseph
Dr. Terror's House of Horrors (1965) - Bob Carroll
Hamlet (1964/III) (TV) - Fortinbras, Prince of Norway

Fairy Liquid

Quite simply, it's for washing dishes. In fact for around forty-five years in the United Kingdom the words 'Fairy Liquid' and 'washing-up liquid' have been nigh-on synonymous. A series of adverts starring Nanette Newman firmly established the brand, so much so that the original advertising slogan is well-remembered: 'Now hands that do dishes can be as soft as your face, with mild green Fairy Liquid'. Blue Peter, too, did its part - almost every week an empty washing up liquid bottle would be required during the construction part of the show. They never mentioned Fairy Liquid by name, of course, but if you wanted quality, that's what you'd use. (This was back when the bottles were simple cylinders, of course, and it seemed to take weeks and weeks of waiting to procure an empty bottle.)

Fairy Liquid is now produced by Procter and Gamble and remains a highly-recognised brand of washing up detergent in the UK. It's also available across Europe, although the names inevitably vary slightly in different countries. The fairy brand also extends to dishwashing detergent and a gentle, non-biological laundry detergent.

You can even get differently fragranced versions now, and there's the usual 2010 options of antibacterial, lemon, orange and other bizarre hybrids that make choosing washing up liquid like a visit to a cut-price gourmet restaurant. Do you really believe the lavender-and-octopus or the anti-bacterial-twine-and-magic-sausage varieties are really making any difference? In my day we had lemon or original and liked it... eucalyptus and garden mint extracts... tsk!

Janine Duvitski

Janine Duvitski was born in 1952 and is an English actress. She had an English mother and a Polish father; her original name of Drzewicki was probably abandoned as a stage name because the British public are still too lazy to figure out how to pronounce Polish. Duvitski moved to London early in life to train as an actress, and made her first forays into success with a couple of small television drama roles. Her first 'proper' role came about after she placed an advertisement and photograph in Spotlight magazine, and was invited to audition for a short play about incest. Although twenty years old, her audition was apparently convincing enough for her to win the role of the 13 year old girl. Further success followed, and after a few stage roles Mike Leigh spotted her and offered her the part of Angela in Abigail's Party - first the stage version, then the later television version.

That first role, with the incest and so on, is something of an oddity, being rather more serious than Duvitski's later roles. You see, over the years, beginning with Abigail's Party, Duvitski has cultivated a kind of dopey, naive charm and turned it into an art form. I've no doubt that in real life she's as sharp as a button but the character in Abigail's Party is a perfect example of Duvitski's metier. Mike Leigh's playscript calls for a meek and mundane character, and Duvitski plays it perfectly: she sits, completely out of place admidst the hostess, Beverly's, 'finery', and certainly is no match for the sophistication of the Sue character. 'I have very beautiful lips,' she goofily drools at Beverly, on command, while for most of the play her husband regards her with an expression of utter contempt. If you haven't seen Abigail's Party, of course, you have no idea what I'm talking about, so let's move swiftly on to Dennis Potter's 'Blue Remembered Hills'.

This excellent, deceptively cheerful play offers another chance for Duvitski to shine. Here she plays Audrey, a young girl clutching a dolly who is clearly as bright as a box of hair. Brilliant performances all round, of course, for the cast of this one; do try and see it.

Duvitski is also famous for her roles in Waiting For God, where she plays a rather dull-witted and simple woman, as Pippa Tench in One Foot In The Grave where she plays - wait for it - a rather dull-witted and simple woman. But please, don't be put off - she's brilliant at it. In fact, it would be a mistake to assume that Duvitski can only perform as a simple, dull-witted woman; her roles in the recent English National Opera production of On The Town and in Alan Bleasdale's Boys From The Black Stuff prove her versatility. The possibility of becoming typecast must always be a risk for any actor or actress... Duvitski flirts with it perhaps a little more than most, having accepted roles in The Madness Of King George and the 1979 version of Dracula, both of which involved playing mad women. But really, she's so good at it! There probably ought to be a separate category in the BAFTAs.

Duvitski is currently married to the actor Paul Bentall, with whom she has four children. That's not him in the picture; that's taken from the comedy series 'Benidorm', and she's standing next to actor Kenny Ireland.

Johhny, Remember Me - John Leyton

Johnny Remember Me was a number one hit in the UK for John Leyton. It's a thunderous sixties track that fits perfectly alongside the abject misery of The Shangri-Las in anyone's iTunes library, and also nuzzles alongside the track 'Telstar', but for a different reason. The Telstar association is Joe Meek, one of those legendary record producers once comes across every now and then.

John Leyton himself is interesting enough - an actor and singer, who made a great Ginger in a 1960s version of Biggles by Granada TV. But Joe Meek is where my interest lay when I found this track. In his time, Meek invented new production techniques; he was a wizard with a soundboard and a whole host of unconventional ideas. And yet, while Phil Spector is free to march the streets with outrageous hair, Joe Meek is dead, having blown his own head off after murdering his landlady.

The single is a lament and a half: nearly three minutes of abject misery as this poor chap remembers his dead girlfriend who calls to him from the wind in the trees, represented by ghostly girl vocals on the track. The guitars gallop along behind all this. Mist swirls, rain falls and the moors are dark and desolate. It's Wuthering Heights with extra ghosts and it's brilliant.

Johnny Remember Me was released in 1961 in the UK where it hurtled to the top of the charts. It features John Leyton on lead vocals with backing from The Outlaws. Joe Meek produced the record, and is merely one example of the sixties musical equivalent of the misery porn novels that populate supermarket bookshelves nowadays.

Nightbreed

To begin with there was The Hellbound Heart and Cabal, both short but intense novellas by author Clive Barker. Scarcely a year later he created Hellraiser, a film version of The Hellbound Heart, producing an intelligent but gory horror. Following the success of Hellraiser - and it was a success, introducing some of the most enduring and grotesque images of horror ever seen - Clive and a Hellraiser-impressed Fox were keen to follow up with something better. That's where Cabal came in.

Naming the project after Cabal's main protagonists, the Nightbreed, Barker adapted and shaped the novella to produce a complex script involving a shadowy underworld of exiled horrors. The Nightbreed are not accepted by society; each one has killed and is, through the power of their brokendeity Baphomet, provided with some sort of power, or at least something that makes them different; the changes in question are not always beneficial. Young Aaron Boone (Craig Sheffer), carefully framed for multiple, bloody murders by his psychiatrist, Decker (reassuringly played by David Cronenberg), makes his way to Midian, 'where the monsters live'. He's followed, of course, and pretty soon Decker turns out not only to be homicidal, but genocidal, too. The monsters must die, particularly as Boone is one of them and knows Decker's secret, and thus Nightbreed becomes more than simply a horror film, taking on the role of an allegory about intolerance. Primarily, of course, it's a horror film, as shown by the make-up effects, the ambitious sets, and copious quantities of blood. It's subtle horror, too - the scene in which a family is deliberately and matter-of-factly slaughtered by Decker is chillingly plausible.

Sadly, though moderately popular on release, Nightbreed has not stood the test of time. Like Hellraiser, upon its release Nightbreed was accompanied by a range of tie-in books, computer games and comics. Unlike Hellraiser, however, it failed to spawn a sequel (although this is not necessarily a bad thing), and (more importantly) failed to produce an enduring image: Hellraiser had Pinhead, the chief Cenobite, whose pin-studded visage has since become a universal symbol of the horrific. Nightbreed has no such icon - despite its lavish sets, equally grotesque make-up effects and intelligent script, it has simply faded. A recent DVD release may go some way toward reviving it, but ultimately Nightbreed has had its chance and missed it, for whatever reason. It's a shame; maybe Nightbreed wasn't the perfect horror film, but it was by no means a bad film.

Don't forget the Danny Elfman soundtrack, either. Nightbreed was supposed to be a success - the next big Barker movie. So what went wrong? Nightbreed was dogged by unforeseen complexities. Marc Almond, given a part by Clive as a friendly gesture, was later forced to pull out, leaving the film with one Almond-sized full body prosthetic and no-one to fill it. The complex underworld of Midian was expensive to produce - all rope bridges and suspended walkways; corners had to be cut. Add to this, too, the twenty-five minutes of material Barker was forced to remove. Fox were unhappy with the explicit horror and unpleasant sexual imagery - in the original cut the Berserkers, described by other Nightbreed as 'mad bastards', were equipped with savage, penis-like heads, not dissimilar to that of Rawhead Rex in an earlier Barker film. Add to this mix, also, more than a little overacting on the part of Hugh Ross, and some dreadful eighties hair on the part of Anne Bobby.

The end of Nightbreed clearly leaves the way open for a sequel. It is unlikely to ever appear, of course, but just in case, the DVD edition is readily available. Now may very well be the time to acquaint yourself with the novella Cabal, closely followed by the film...

Nightbreed was directed by Clive Barker and produced by Gabriella Martinelli and Joe Roth. It was released in 1990 featuring the acting talents of Craig Sheffer as Aaron Boone, Anne Bobby as Lori Desinger and David Cronenberg as Dr. Philip Decker. The music, released on CD but difficult to obtain, was composed by Danny Elfman.

Hattie Jacques

Hattie Jacques lived from the 7th of February 1922 until the 6th of October 1980, when she sadly died from a heart attack. At that time, without wishing to be melodramatic, the world was robbed of a British comedy legend. Oh, it's okay - it wasn't one of those clever, intellectual comedienne types or anything like that - it was, putting it plainly, a rather overweight woman with an amazing ability to squeal at Kenneth Williams, huff at Tony Hancock and slap Sid James. Many envy her for the opportunity to do that alone, forgetting the exciting opportunities she had to play matron, or Eric Sykes' sister.

I'm a big Hattie Jacques fan, if you can't tell, and I'm prepared to defend her slapstick style of British Carry On comedy to the death. Hattie Jacques worked with all the big, nostalgic names of British comedy, and I want to try and make it clear that this wasn't some sort of privilege for Hattie - quite the opposite. Hancock, Sykes, James and all the rest were working with someone special when they worked with Hattie. John Le Mesurier married her, although they did divorce later, so he doesn't get quite so many brownie points. That said, if you've read Hancock's biographies you'll know that the comedians of the sixties and seventies made a great show of laughter on set, seeming to run out when it came to everyday life.

Look; I'm going to tell you one of the classic British comedy moments. Hattie Jacques is playing a rather matronly matron of a set of British school girls. They need looking after, particularly in the chastity department. And Kenneth Williams, being Kenneth Williams, is behaving just like Kenneth Williams always does in these films, despite clearly being a screaming queen. Regardless, Hattie is explaining how she wants a little womanly attention: "I want to be wooed!" she declares. Bear in mind that Kenneth is adopting a dreadful speech impediment when he replies... nay, declares! "You can be as rude as you like with me!". And yes, that's basically the whole thing in a nutshell. Good old British slapstick, vaudeville, whatever you want to call it. And Hattie was a master at it.

So, enough unadulterated praise. The details. Hattie was born in Kent in 1922. She did the usual education stuff, worked as a nurse (good experience for those Carry On Doctor films, I suppose) and also as a welder. She began acting at the age of 20 and her rather chunky but undeniable charm led to her becoming popular for the more delicate roles. It's a pantomime thing.

She worked on It's That Man Again for a while, playing the aptly-named Sophie Tuckshop. In 1950 she made it onto Educating Archie and then began on Hancock's Half Hour in 1956. And, let's just pause to say that she's absolutely brilliant here. We might also consider how important the radio is in British comedy. I know we all enjoy Miranda, The League Of Gentlemen and The Day Today. Where did they all begin? That's right... radio. And that's nowadays, when the television is ubiquitous. Think back to when no-one had a television, when you paid money to go to the pictures if you wanted to see as well as hear. Radio ruled.

Speaking of the cinema... Carry On Films! After a couple of Norman Wisdoms she hurtled into the Carry On films and managed to appear in fourteen different ones, starring alongside a whole plethora of household names.

Sykes followed - a comedy vehicle for Eric Sykes, in which Hattie continued to play the type of roles she played so well. Sykes ran from 1960 to 1965, went off on a little holiday for a while, and then returned from 1972 to 1979. And, if you were paying attention at the start, that's when it all ends tragically. October the 6th, 1980. She was 58.

Nanette Newman

Nanette Newman is an English actress and author. She was born on the 29th of May, 1934, which means that she's getting on a bit. She is remembered fondly for her appearances in the Fairy Liquid advertisements, and she has also produced a small amount of film and television work.

A small amount, yes: Nanette Newman isn't what you'd call prolific. Her first film appearance was in Personal Affairs in 1953, and was followed by twelve other films before the Stepford Wives movie in 1975. International Velvet followed three years later, after which there was a pause of seven years before Restless Natives and The Mystery Of Edwin Drood failed to make much of an impact on anyone. That last one was in 1993, following which Nanette seems to have taken time out from television or film. Her last television appearances were on a children's cookery programme called Fun Food Factory, and she also appeared as a panellist on the 70s game show 'What's My Line?'.

Nanette is also an author. Six cookery books and thirty children's books. One of them, The Summer Cookbook, netted her cookbook of the year award. In 1955 she married Bryan Forbes, and together they produced a couple of kids, now known, in adulthood, as Emma Forbes and Sarah Standing. Nanette appears in Burke's Peerage, and has her own page on the IMDb.

But let's think back to those Fairy Liquid adverts. Every now and then there's an advert, or in this case a series of adverts, that kind of grabs the public attention. We all have a soft spot for the PG Tips Chimps, the irritatingly lovely OXO Family and Maureen Lipman's Beattie (replete with quote 'You got an ology!' and so on. I say a 'soft spot' - in many cases we'd secretly love to kill them. Bob Hoskins' series of BT ads fall easily into this category. Anyway, Nanette had this wonderful habit of getting thirty thousandgirl guides or cub scouts into a marquee of some sort, all armed with greasy plates. They'd line up, and Nanette would add one small squeeze to a tiny tub of water. While espousing the grease-cutting nature of the magical liquid, these poor kids would wash their plates, one after the other. The whole point seemed to be that one tiny squeeze of Fairy could clean up after the whole of the United Kingdom's scouting fraternity. I always felt vaguely sorry for the last ten thousand little kids, dipping their plates into a slurry of left-over gravy and insipid slivers of onion. Classic stuff...