At Home With The Snails

At Home With The Snails is a thoroughly odd British comedy series from Radio 4. It was originally broadcast in 2001, and the fact that I didn't even notice it existed until 2008 probably says something about its success and popularity. Because when I say 'thoroughly odd', I mean it.

There have been sitcoms about dysfunctional families before, but this has to beat them all. Over the four episodes of the first series we meet Alex Fisher, a boy obsessed with snails, his father George and mother Beverly. Beverly spends much of her time in the conservatory making 'nice things'. George, on the other hand, spends much of his time wiring up mikes and video cameras to observe his son. Alex's sister, Rose, meanwhile is entirely socially inept, selling 'chocolate excretions' in her sweet shop, but nowhere near as odd as Alex.

I mentioned that George was observing his son, apparently trying to write a book covering his slow descent into madness. And there's plenty to observe. Through nightmarish childhood gardening rituals, Alex has developed an unhealthy interest in snails. We progress from merely keeping them to allowing them to graze freely over his naked body, with cuttlefish nestled in various locations, cutting them in half and eating them raw with a visiting Frenchwoman, insisting on only sliding everywhere whilst wearing deely boppers and a backpack, not to mention spending hours rootling around the rubbish dump in search of Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen, so called because he decorates the walls with his slime.

At Home With The Snails was written by Gerard Foster and broadcast in 2001 with a second series in 2002. It stars Geoffrey Palmer, Angela Thorne, Gerard Foster, Miranda Hart and Debra Stephenson. The music, and if anyone could tell me what it is I'd be delighted, is fantastic. [Edit: Waltzinblack by The Stranglers; thank you anonymous commenter!]

The Harpoon

The Harpoon is a British radio comedy which was broadcast to listeners of Radio 4 between 1991 and 1994. It enjoyed three excellent four-episode series, and an extremely good Christmas special, as well as the odd live appearance on one or two BBC Radio variety performances. The Harpoon was written by the well-known Peter Baynham and slightly-less well-known Julian Dutton, who were joined by Susie Brann, Mary Elliott-Nelson, Bryony Pritchard and Alistair MacGowan to perform the series. It was produced by Sarah Smith.

Each episode of The Harpoon is about half an hour in length, allowing a couple of minutes for the link to the next programme. The programme's setting varies considerably as different episodes focus on periods from Victorian times to the 1950s, and the series is written in such a way as to 'pretend' to be a printed magazine, 'The Harpoon', described as 'a magazine for young and old'. There's a feeling of adventure about the magazine, with story serials and tales of derring-do interspersed with historical titbits and how-to guides. It has that Sherlock Holmes narrative style to it, mixed in with the pomposity of early British public information films. To stick with the magazine metaphor, each sketch is separated from the next by the sound of a page turning, and the only slightly brutal editor opens with his 'Looking Ahead' section, often whilst killing various creatures, and closes the magazine with the letters page. The whole thing is performed with the most atrocious accents: dreadfully exaggerated Cockney is used for 'common folk', while only the best received pronunciation is saved for the upper class editor and narrators.

Interestingly, The Harpoon was recently broadcast on BBC 7. A quick Google search for 'radioarchive the harpoon' will bring up both of the original series. Blessings be upon bittorrent...

Blue Remembered Hills

"Into my heart, an air that kills from yon far country blows. What are those Blue Remembered Hills? What spires, what farms are those? That is the land of lost content. I see it shining plain. The happy highways where I went. And cannot come again." - extract from A. E. Housman's 'A Shropshire Lad'.

Blue Remembered Hills is a play by Dennis Potter, written for television as part of the BBC's 'Play For Today' series. It follows the success of his 1978 play 'Pennies From Heaven' and differs from it in a number of exciting ways, a significant change for Potter. The studio-based performances, recorded on video, of his previous work are replaced with film shot on location in Dorset. The result is a panoramic, sweeping feel to the film which alternates between moving shots that swoop past the characters and static, countryside-backed scenes. A memorable shot zooms down through the branches of a tree, hugging the trunk as the characters pass below. Excellent stuff.

But the main feature for which Blue Remembered Hills is notable is its depiction of children, seven of them, are all played by adults: Colin Welland (Willie), Michael Elphick (Peter), Robin Ellis (John), John Bird (Raymond), Helen Mirren (Angela), Janine Duvitski (Audrey), and Colin Jeavons(Donald). To begin with, there's something vaguely comical about Collin Welland's chunky frame, clad in grey flannel shorts and a knitted sweater, rolling about making spitfire noises, but after a while it all falls into place. The reminiscing begins: what it was like to be a child without adult supervision. The rosy glow of memory, and it's fun to watch. For a while.

Desperate for a bite of apple, Peter's character wrestles Willie to the ground, kneeling on his chest and spitting in his face. More friends join them, and a hapless squirrel is knocked from a tree with stones and then bludgeoned to death. All change, as a moment later they discuss holding a proper funeral for the poor creature. To say more would spoil the play, but suffice to say that children existing in a state of nature is all Potter needs to produce a gripping, horrifying, yet darkly humorous play, and one that's well worth tracking down on DVD.