07 December 2009


The Encyclopedia Of Unusual Sex Practices has surprisingly little to say on the subject of felching. The word felch refers, author Brenda Love tells us, 'to either stuffing animals into the anus or vagina, or to a partner sucking semen out of one of these orifices. For such a well-known, if not necessarily well-respected, tome to have so little to say is almost unthinkable, and thus we encounter the problem: how to define felching.

A Form Of Bestiality, Or Merely Oral Retrieval Of Semen?

Those who dare to define felching are neatly divided by its meaning. A quick search outside e2 provides a whole wealth of resources claiming to know what felching is, and one or two who claim to perform it on a regular basis. For proponents of the semen-drinking faction tips involving drinking straws abound, and only one source goes as far as to point out the risks involved where an exchange of bodily fluids takes place. Those who prefer to think of felching as a sexual act involving small animals quickly descend into urban myth, exchanging the same story of a gerbil-related mishap that it is claimed appeared in the LA Times. The story never appeared, and variants can be found on usenet tracking right back to 1993.

Alternative stories include the tale of a certain Richard Gere, who arrived at Los Angeles hospital with yet another hapless gerbil lodged in his rectum. The story comes in a dizzying range of varieties, both with and without fur, plastic bags or sources of lubrication. None of these variations (it hardly needs to be pointed out) are true.

Urban legends make poor evidence for any definition - the correct term for such practices appears to be gerbilling - and it would, therefore, seem prudent to define felching as the retrieval of semen from a bodily orifice into which is has been recently deposited. This includes the vagina or the anus. Interestingly in the light of such practices as nasolingus, and no doubt as a result of common sense, no sources mention other potential orifices such as the nose or ears. It should also be noted that despite the implication that one would felch out one's own semen, there is the possibility of felching out the ejaculate of another, previous lover.

Semen Retrieval: Why Would Anyone Want To Do That?

There is no doubt that felching deserves the monicker unusual - it's not one of your more common sexual practices. In fact, as seen above, the term is more often used derisively, to insult or slander, rather then taking the form of a simple descriptive phrase for a sexual act, presumably of pleasure to at least one of the two people involved.

In a world where golden enemas, Roman Showers and hygrophilia are recognised sexual practices, there is clearly a place for felching. It may be considered unsafe, but then so are many forms of sexual activity where bodily fluids are exchanged. Certainly the semen re-ingested from one's partner would be liberally mixed with vaginal discharges or, if the anus were the orifice of choice, a varying quantity of rectal mucus or even feces. Sounds unpleasant, but the practice of coprophagy has been around for a very long time, and adding semen to the mix is hardly going to make it worse.

The question of why an individual would wish to do such a thing is one best answered by such individuals. Either one is the type of person who finds the idea of sucking semen back out of the orifice into which one has just deposited it an arousing and irresistible one, or one is the type of person who finds it inherently abhorrent.

Regardless of which category one falls into, the only acceptable attitude anyone can have regarding such practices is one of tolerance; ultimately, the practice of felching is of no consequence to anyone except those involved, regardless of the social niceties it bruises, or the feelings of disapproval it may cause to well up within us.

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